My local Morning Rave radio show is three DJs – Lukas, Shannon and Maney. Shannon and Maney (whom I will now call S and M because it amuses me) got to hang out backstage before the Sacramento show and interviewed Chris after the rest of the guys ditched them. (Hee, they said JC left because he had to do his hair. Bear in mind that this is a good 2 and ½ hours before the show.)

But it didn’t stop there. After the road manager made them wrap up the interview, Chris didn’t leave. He stayed and just chatted with them for another twenty minutes. Here’s where it gets weird. M said that he “accidentally” pressed the record button about 3 minutes into this informal chat and ended up taping the rest of it. I wouldn’t believe that it was an accident for a second except that he honestly seemed really upset about it and refused to play this uncensored tape on the air despite Lukas practically forcing him to and getting the listeners to call in to beg. S and M really, really liked Chris after bonding with him and didn’t want to sell him out. They were worried about the tape being an invasion of privacy since Chris had no idea they were taping during this time. They had told him the interview was over. S and M did finally cave a little bit and played about 3 minutes from this tape on the air before they got too upset and turned it off. They said there was a subtle difference between “Interview Chris” and “Chit-Chat Chris” and didn’t want to expose him that way. “Chit-Chat Chris” is even less censored than “Interview Chris”. He has fouler language and talks about anything and everything.

Now, it honestly makes me nauseous to think of them playing this tape behind Chris’s back. Actually, just the fact that it was taped at all is horrible to me. I would give my left kidney to see Chris just being himself in an informal atmosphere. Chris in action. Yeah. I love him so, so much. But no WAY am I willing to be a disgusting stalker to do it. That’s wrong on so many levels.

But. You know. If they play the tape and I have my radio on…I’m gonna listen.

S ended up calling Chris’s cell phone and leaving a message to ask for permission to play the rest on the air. Thank god.

So, here’s where I transcribe what was said. I’ll put the formal interview and the “stolen” ones a little separated so you don’t have to read one to read the other. (BTW, I looked on the station’s website to see if there was a link to download but they didn’t have it there. Which is really too bad because to truly appreciate Chris you need to be able to experience his little nuances of tone, etc. I tried to capture them as best I could.)

Things they weren’t allowed to ask any of the guys about? Britney or Lance in space. Heh.


M: We need to know. When you guys go out, on the road, and you check into a hotel. Obviously, you guys get individual rooms, but who gets the biggest room?

Chris: Um…Lance. Lance gets the biggest room. Because, he’s like. He just complains. He has to have the biggest room, otherwise he won’t go on stage that night. And he requests, like, certain foods and wines that has to be in his room or he’ll refuse to talk to any of us.

M: Why?

Chris: He actually has his own dressing room. He lives…he has his own bus. He rides by himself. And, uh, if he had his way he would have his own show. And we would be his support act.

M: He’s that guy. He’s that guy in the band.

Chris: He’s that guy. He’s that mean to us. He treats us, he’s…[snorts] No, none of us. [laughs a little] No. It’s really…it’s so funny too, because we all get so jealous. Like, if anybody does happen to have, like, sometimes. I remember in the first hotel we were at on this tour, Joey had a big bathtub. And, uh, we all got so jealous. And we were, like, joking around because, like. We’ll make fun of, like. [sounds like he’s trying not to laugh] JC’s the worst. JC’s clueless a lot of times. And we all pick up on stuff easy. So, I’ll be, like, I’ll start in on something. I’ll be like, ‘Yeah, these rooms are great.’ And JC’ll be like, ‘Yeah, they’re all right.’ And I’m like, ‘Yeah, that Jacuzzi in the room is just amazing.’ And then Justin’ll pick up on it a little bit, and he’s like, ‘Yeah and the canopy goes over the bed. And the three little rooms in there...’ And JC will start looking around going, [sounding wounded] ‘Hey, I didn’t get that stuff!’

[S and M laugh]

Chris: And he’ll start to get, like, really upset. And we’ll like, play with him. And he really is gullible.

[background noise gets louder]

Chris: Hey, do you guys want to walk over…?

[S and M agree and they move away from where the band has started to play for what I think is Genuwine’s soundcheck]

S: A standard question we like to ask everybody. And we wanna know what kind of cars you all drive. Because we know our vehicles are important to us. So…

M: Kathy Ireland drives a minivan, we found out this week.

Chris: [sounding amazed] Are you serious? Does she have little ones? [ed note: Little ones! ::dies::]

M: Yeah. I was like, what kind of like, do you drive an Expedition. Or, like, you know, like, a Land Cruiser or something? And she’s like, [imitates female voice] ‘I have a minivan.’

Chris: Everybody’s into the whole U…uh, SUV thing. [short laugh] APG! I was, like, EPG tests.

[S and M laugh]

Chris: You know, everybody’s into the HBO and the, ya know, TNT and PMS stuff goin’ on, with the…CBS…ya know…

[all laugh] [noise in background] [everybody pauses for a second]

M: What did she say?

Chris: She raised her hand, ‘PMS?’ And then everybody just kind of stopped the interview and I’m, like, cricket?

[everybody laughs]

Chris: No, I’m just kidding. [makes what I assume is supposed to be a cricket noise but sounds like, ‘ch ch ch!’] Uh, well, I think we all have SUV’s. I’ve got a Navigator. Joey has a Yukon, I think. Justin has a Escalade. [ed note: of course he does.] JC has an old Land Rover…I don’t know what the heck he’s got. And Lance has a Pathfinder. And then we all have little toy cars. Like, I’ve got a…I have a Cobra 427 and two bikes.

M: Now, see, when you said ‘toy car’, like, I was thinking Tonka.

[all laugh]

Chris: Right! No, this is. This is like the car you can drive out and wreck. You know, ‘cause you have that much money.

[all laugh]

Chris: No, I’m just kidding. [giggle] We don’t. We don’t. This is, like, my little. My car that you take out every once in awhile. Like, I couldn’t drive it around, ‘cause it doesn’t have a roof and it’s only a two-seater. And, in Florida when it rains every day, I gotta get to where I’m going quick and come back or…I’m in trouble.

S: But you like to ride?

Chris: I love to ride. I’m a huge. I’m a bike fanatic. I have a, uh, I have a GSXR Suzuki 600.

[M whistles, impressed]

Chris: And I just got the new Harley-Davidson VROD. [ed note: I know nothing about motorcycles, so if that’s not how you write those names…sorry.] Yeah, and I actually, uh, because I wrecked my GSXR accidentally. ‘Cause I broke my hand last tour…

S: Oh, that’s right.

Chris: And, uh, it was right after the tour. And I was riding, and I hadn’t ridden in awhile, and my clutch hand was kind of…messed up, and I mis-clutched and I was going around a corner and I hit the corner and flew off the handlebars. [webmaster note: oww] I’m all right though. I mean, don’t. I can see the concern in your faces.

[S and M laugh]

M: Yeah, Shannon, take a look at that hand. Is that hand ok?

S: [sounding amused] Ok, I’m holding Chris’s hand everybody. Should I be excited?

[M laughs]

Chris: [sounding embarrassed] I never am. [giggles]

M: [still laughing] Dude, so what’s it like, um,…I don’t want to give you the ordinary ‘what’s it like becoming big’ type thing. But, I know, ‘cause I’m like just even in radio and my friends are like just amazed that I’m doing something somewhat, you know, kinda cool. What’s it like for you? Do you still talk to, like, old high school buddies and stuff, or do you have to like, are you so busy that you cut that off? Do you take phone calls and emails from them?

Chris: I think the coolest thing about all of us is, besides for the five of us, as, like. We’re not even like best friends. We’re like brothers, we really are, because we have our own core of best friends. But…even your best friends don’t compare to, like, the other guys. It’s like, those are our, we’re all brothers.

[background noise is increasing and Chris seems to be talking louder to compensate]

Chris: But, we all have our best friends have been around us since…way back. Like, you know, I think the most recent is like ten years ago, is like the most recent friend that we hang around with. You know, we’re with all our old school mates. Guys that…some of us have been like really poor and working in, like, restaurants and I’m still with...

[background noise gets very loud here, like, out of control, and Chris cuts off to go “take care of business” as the DJs later described it]

Chris: [in background, shouting. Loudly.] Would you guys shut the heck up?! Geez!

[much laughter]

Chris: All you hear is the chicken’s freakin’ mouth. [makes lots of noises that sound somewhat like a chicken trying to talk and one loud] BAWCK! Geez! Put a muzzle on that.

[S and M still laughing]

M: Um, no wonder why the friends aren’t flowing, Shannon.

S: [laughing more] I know! This is why they only have themselves as their crew. [ed note: which is not at all what Chris was saying before. But, whatever.]

Chris: Yes, two friends. We’re evil people.

S: We do want to know, though, seriously about, um, the Lucas Ranch? Because we’ve never been there. And I know my mom’s been there and I haven’t been there and I’m jealous, so tell us.

Chris: It was me, JC and Joey went and, uh, we actually mixed our DVD up there. And while we were mixing it the first time, we were like talking to some people and we said, ‘You know, we would love to be in Star Wars.’ And then the whole Star Wars thing came up and we went back to film some stuff and now it’s a big controversy whether it’s going to get cut. I don’t even know what’s going on. I just had a good time there. Uh, George Lucas was really nice. We got to…if anything else we got to be there. We got to walk around like, uh, you know, the ranch, and hang out in the ranch. We got to go check out where he does all the Lucasfilm stuff. We, like, took pictures with like the original R2D2. Which is actually like sitting in a little, like, shop. Just sittin’ there in the corner. And I’m like, ‘I’ll take it!’

[S and M laugh]

M: I’ll use it as a garbage can.

Chris: No, I’ll totally just like, have it in a case somewhere or something and my friends can come over. Or I’ll have one built and then say it’s the original.

[S laughs]

M: So, it’s like you gotta go to the movie to see if you made it or not.

Chris: Yeah, you know, I. I don’t know. Yeah, we’re gonna go and…even if we didn’t make it we’re gonna pretend like we made it.

M: That’s cool. What’s your—

Chris: [pretending like he’s at the movie] There we were! You just. Yep, that was us. That was me, the Jedi with the pony tail. That was me. Yeah.

M: What is in your dressing room right now? Like, what is it that you guys, that you guys are gonna chow down and request? ‘Cause we know, like, JLo asked for a whole bunch of stuff like when she came through on her tour.

S: And Mariah Carey wants puppies and kittens. Please tell me you don’t have any of those. [ed note: Uh…Puppies? Check. Kitten…Oh, this is too easy.]

Chris: [sounding scandalized] In the dressing room? Does she keep ‘em all? Or…

M: Will you call her and ask and let us know? ‘Cause she won’t take our calls but she’ll definitely take your call.

Chris: [sounding unsure] Yeah, I’ll call her. She’s cool. I. We don’t request puppies and kittens. We’ve got, like…cereal. And. [more excited now] No, I’ll tell you exactly what’s on our rider. Cereal, milk, grilled cheese and tomato soup. [ed note: He says tomato soup so cutely. “Ta-mayta soup.” Hee.] And peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We are like eight-year-old kids. We’re so happy, like, munching out on Dorito’s and. [pause. fake happy voice.] And our favorite place to eat in the world is CHILI’S!

M: Awesome, Chris. Thank you so much.

Chris: Isn’t that great? [loudly] We should get more money, Chili’s! [singing flatly and off key] Baby back, baby back riiiibs. Barbeque sauce.

M: Did you take a direct hit in that commercial?

Chris: No, Joey did.

M: Yeah, Joey took the direct hit. Did you get splintered?

Chris: [sounding very unenthusiastic] Um, no, I was cool. [ed note: his whole tone here screams that he’s taken tons of shit over this commercial.] I was in the background a little bit. I. I, I think it’s great that everybody thinks we sold out on the Chili’s commercial. We sold out, like, a long time ago.

[all laugh]

Chris: You know. The Chili’s commercial was just the first time that people are actually, like, [funny, dumb-sounding voice] ‘Look at ‘NSYNC. Those guys sold out.’ I’m like, ‘oh, I guess you forgot about McDonald’s, the bar mitzvah, the, uh...' We could name a bunch. Dodge, Chrysler, you know, we’ll tell you about them. We don’t care. We’re just happy to be doin’ what we’re doin’. If you had a chance to, you’d to.

M: [apparently eager to sell out] Absolutely. Absolutely. You rock, dude. Thank you so much.

Chris: Thank you, guys.

[thus endeth the “official” interview]